A blur.

That's what the last 10 days have been. A blur. In a haze of moving, and final performances, and wedding preparation, I've been trying to get back on track. It hasn't really been working, because I've put on a couple of kilos in the last few weeks. Not too many, but enough to give me a bit of a wake-up call. Enough to make me want to snap out of this 'plateau' that is actually just me being really slack, and not really a plateau at all.

Tomorrow, I try on my dress for the first time. I'm scared. What if it doesn't fit? What if it's too small and the dressmaker can't fix it? What if I've spent $3000 on something that I cannot wear? I know it won't be out by much - I'm the same weight as I was when I first went to the bridal shop, but it doesn't make it any easier to believe that it will be okay. There's nothing I can do about it now, though.

Life is almost back to normal - we're pretty much moved in, Dave will be back at work Monday, and I'm back on LnE full time. I'm committed to not being persuaded to head over to the cafe at lunchtime. I can't say I'll be strong enough not to have takeaway for dinner if Dave chooses to, or to not have chocolate, but I will be strong enough to say no to this one thing. This is not going to happen overnight, but it will happen.

I also have slacked off on the exercise - averaging about 4000 steps a day, which is far shy of the 10,000 minimum I was getting just a few months ago. Gym has to come before couch, every day. It HAS to.

I thought about registering for 12WBT again, but I can't do that for the rest of my life. I have to just do this. Just live. Make wise choices, say no sometimes, say yes sometimes, and EXPERIENCE life. It's hard, but it can be done. It will be done.