... and they've been full of ups and downs!!
I weighed in last Wednesday, and it was a wonderful number. This Wednesday, not so good... I spent a weekend by the beach (Torquay, in Victoria) with family. My mum had organised the weekend for all the women in her family. My Gran has two sisters, and they're all in their 80s. Because of their age, and their various ailments, they are lucky to see each other once every two years. Mum decided to organise a weekend getaway for the three sisters, all their daughters and all their granddaughters, close to where Aunty Dot (the oldest and most frail) lives, so that she could come down for an afternoon.
Needless to say, with an average of 12 women in a room at a time, all cooped up inside as it was over 35 degrees the entire time and we needed the air-con... it was soo noisy!! There were endless platters of cold meats, cheese, bread, lollies, chocolates, homemade slices, biscuits, cut up veggies, dips, crackers.... and alcohol. Loads of alcohol!
I managed to graze quite successfully - every time I wanted something I waited a few minutes before I ate it. I did catch myself mindlessly reaching for food quite often, but I did stop myself more than I usually would have. Because of the heat, I drank like a fish - both soft drink AND water (we didn't have that much bottled water and the tap water tasted funny so I didn't want to risk it), but stayed away from most alcohol. I didn't count calories much, which was weird, and I know I used more than half of my usual daily allowance in drinks alone.
I had the most amazing time! There were people there I'd never met, people I met when I was very young, and some people that I see all the time. There was always someone laughing, people having conversations with other people that they haven't spoken to in ages, and generally everyone enjoyed themselves. I was sad that I had to leave early (Saturday night) as I had a teacher's meeting for calisthenics early Sunday morning..
I was really looking forward to the meeting - Jason Coleman (Judge from So You Think You Can Dance) was a guest speaker and all the coaches were really excited about it. It turned out to be a flop - he spent an hour promoting his new business venture, instead of talking about choreography like he was supposed to. I would have rather stayed at the beach house, talking, laughing and reminiscing with my family.
I weighed in this morning with the full effects of my weekend of yummy cheese and no exercise weighing heavily in my tummy, and my conscience. I was up just over a kilo, but I know that with a week of cleaner eating, solid exercise, and lots of water, I can undo that damage and continue on my journey to a healthier, happier life.
On a brighter note, the BF came to work and had lunch with me today. I really felt the love, and was so excited for the hour before he came, and was on cloud nine for the rest of the afternoon!!
Wednesday 29 February 2012
Sunday 19 February 2012
February 19.... What a difference a year makes!
February 19, 2011.
A group of girls from calisthenics decided we'd form 'Bike Club', where we'd get together and go for bike rides around the local area. Saturday, February 19, 2011 was the day of our first ride. Ash has plotted the course, Mel had organised the baby seat for baby J, and I had put together my new bike (a chrissy present from Mum and Dad). We met at my place, at 9:30 in the morning. I had something at Mum's place at 1:30, and thought 4 hours was plenty of time to get through the 25km that Ash had planned.
We set off. Riding a bike was harder than I remembered. Not harder, exactly, but a lot more bloody effort was required than I remembered from my carefree days as a kid. I reckon it'd been about 15 years since I rode, and I was never awesome at it, but we rode a lot on the weekends around the streets. After about 10 minutes, I was exhausted. I was breathing ridiculously heavily, my legs were burning, my heart was racing, I was sweating like a pig, my legs were burning. I told the girls to go ahead, and I would catch up. I couldn't believe that I was so unfit.
We rode for about 4kms, with the girls stopping every km or so and waiting for me to catch up. I felt absolutely awful, but determined to succeed. I couldn't believe that Mel, who had a baby on the back of her bike, wasn't struggling. I was seriously struggling to catch my breath each time we stopped. I was fighting with my thoughts - my mind was constantly telling me to give up and turn around. Each time I caught up though, and opened my mouth to let the girls know that I was turning around, one of them encouraged me, and I felt that I couldn't give up.
We stopped at the 8km mark, where Ash brought out the muesli bars and informed us that we were halfway. I decided I would turn around, but she talked me out of it. We had taken more than an hour to get there, and I wanted to die. I was feeling faint, my vision was blurry, and I was sweating more than a person should. After about 10 minutes, we got on our bikes and continued on our merry way.
I didn't think it was possible, but I got slower. It took us a further two hours to go the next 10km. There were a couple of hills, but it was mostly flat. We got about 5km from home, and I just couldn't do it any more. I knew that I wouldn't have enough time to get back home at the pace we were going, to get back to Mum's in time. Mel had a bike rack on her car, so she and Ash said they'd hurry home, and then drive back to pick me up. I sat on the side of the road, feeling like a fat failure for almost 45 minutes. The girls got back, we put the bike on the back, and we drove back to my place. The whole time, they both were very positive about how far I'd gone, how much I'd done, and how much better we were going to be next time. I was so disappointed - 25kms seemed like an easy feat, but once we got into it, it was impossible.
The next week, we went again. We went a different way though, past a service station. We looked at my tyre pressure, and it was 11psi. I know nothing about psi, but my tyres said they should be on 35psi. We all had a massive laugh when we realised I had been riding on flat tyres the week before, and that was probably why I was having such a hard time. Well... the tyres got pumped up, and I felt like I was riding on air. We did about 10km that day, in about an hour and a half - still stopping at times for me to catch up, but definitely an improvement.
Over the next few months, I trained. My brother, a keen cyclist, upgraded his bike and gifted me his old one for my birthday in May. I live right on the bike track so headed out 3-4 times a week for that infamous 8km (16km round trip) section - each time, I 'checked in' on Facebook on my phone once I got to the muesli bar spot. I had named it 'The Place Where Kelly Wanted To Die At The First Bike Club Meeting', and all my Facebook friends found out when I had been riding. My time progressively decreased as my fitness got better. The new bike was awesome - it had a much wider gear range, thinner tyres, and felt good under my bum. I developed callouses on my butt cheeks. My tail bone got over it's bruising from the first ride and I began to get my rhythm and gear changes sorted as I got to know the trail.
Then, I saw ads for a ride along Eastlink - a toll road that the bike track runs alongside. The road would be closed to motorists for the day, and we could ride the entire length (75km round trip) or half (35km round trip) to raise money for charity. My brother dared me to sign up for the 35km ride. He would be overseas at the time (riding from Spain to Germany at approx 100km a day...) so couldn't join me, but he wanted me to do it. Ash and her boyfriend signed up as well.
So, on November 13, we got our bikes on the train to the start line, lined up, and rode 35km along a lovely section of freeway, which ended in two gigantic tunnels - a nice downhill followed by a ridiculous uphill... TWICE. I set myself a time limit of two hours - it was definitely a challenge, but I finished in 1:54. I had to walk out of the last tunnel because my legs were just jelly, but as soon as I was out of the tunnel I jumped back on and rode the 500m to the finish, with tears streaming down my very red, sweaty face.
Over summer, I took up the C25K program, got more into the gym/treadmill/cardio, and sort of forgot about my bike. You might recall my post from a last week where I took the old bike for a spin again, and loved it. Today, I realised that it was February 19, so I wanted to relive the horror that was 12 months ago.
February 19, 2012.
The sun was shining, the birds were chirping, and I've spent most of the day in bed catching up on reading, TV shows that I've downloaded, and surfing the Net. I was looking back on the old Facebook page we had created for Bike Club, and realised that we had ridden on this day last year for the first time. It was 5:30pm, and I thought to myself, "Why not? See what you can do..." I put my leggings and tank on, cranked up the HRM and set off.
I flew. I really, really flew. I got to the spot, checked my watch, and saw 22:30. Twenty-two and a half minutes for 8km that a year ago took me over an hour. I set myself a challenge. I would turn around and go home, then turn around and come back and see if I could make it in an hour. I didn't check my watch. I focussed on riding to the beat of the music playing in my ears. I focussed on pushing my legs that little bit harder, on keeping my heart rate up, on breathing steadily. I focussed on how great it felt to be riding, feeling that burn, but not wanting to die. On wanting to keep going and prove to myself that I CAN DO IT.
I got back to the spot, the 24km mark, and glanced at my watch. 1:01:30. I had missed my goal by a minute and a half. I actually didn't give a toss. I grinned, turned around and headed for home. Only another 8km to go.
I think I smiled for the entire 8km. I even sang along to the tunes... which must have been ridiculous to any pedestrians or people whose backyards run along the track. I don't sing well. I don't know all the words. And you know what? I don't care what people think of me any more. Let them think I'm a crazy person... I'm a crazy person who just did what 12 months ago was impossible.
I finished the 33.44km ride in just under 90 minutes. That's almost half an hour off my 35km time in November, and I haven't even been training on the bike since I finished that ride.
My first ride, 12 months ago? 6.5km/h.
Today? 22km/h.
What a difference a year makes.
A group of girls from calisthenics decided we'd form 'Bike Club', where we'd get together and go for bike rides around the local area. Saturday, February 19, 2011 was the day of our first ride. Ash has plotted the course, Mel had organised the baby seat for baby J, and I had put together my new bike (a chrissy present from Mum and Dad). We met at my place, at 9:30 in the morning. I had something at Mum's place at 1:30, and thought 4 hours was plenty of time to get through the 25km that Ash had planned.
We set off. Riding a bike was harder than I remembered. Not harder, exactly, but a lot more bloody effort was required than I remembered from my carefree days as a kid. I reckon it'd been about 15 years since I rode, and I was never awesome at it, but we rode a lot on the weekends around the streets. After about 10 minutes, I was exhausted. I was breathing ridiculously heavily, my legs were burning, my heart was racing, I was sweating like a pig, my legs were burning. I told the girls to go ahead, and I would catch up. I couldn't believe that I was so unfit.
We rode for about 4kms, with the girls stopping every km or so and waiting for me to catch up. I felt absolutely awful, but determined to succeed. I couldn't believe that Mel, who had a baby on the back of her bike, wasn't struggling. I was seriously struggling to catch my breath each time we stopped. I was fighting with my thoughts - my mind was constantly telling me to give up and turn around. Each time I caught up though, and opened my mouth to let the girls know that I was turning around, one of them encouraged me, and I felt that I couldn't give up.
We stopped at the 8km mark, where Ash brought out the muesli bars and informed us that we were halfway. I decided I would turn around, but she talked me out of it. We had taken more than an hour to get there, and I wanted to die. I was feeling faint, my vision was blurry, and I was sweating more than a person should. After about 10 minutes, we got on our bikes and continued on our merry way.
I didn't think it was possible, but I got slower. It took us a further two hours to go the next 10km. There were a couple of hills, but it was mostly flat. We got about 5km from home, and I just couldn't do it any more. I knew that I wouldn't have enough time to get back home at the pace we were going, to get back to Mum's in time. Mel had a bike rack on her car, so she and Ash said they'd hurry home, and then drive back to pick me up. I sat on the side of the road, feeling like a fat failure for almost 45 minutes. The girls got back, we put the bike on the back, and we drove back to my place. The whole time, they both were very positive about how far I'd gone, how much I'd done, and how much better we were going to be next time. I was so disappointed - 25kms seemed like an easy feat, but once we got into it, it was impossible.
The next week, we went again. We went a different way though, past a service station. We looked at my tyre pressure, and it was 11psi. I know nothing about psi, but my tyres said they should be on 35psi. We all had a massive laugh when we realised I had been riding on flat tyres the week before, and that was probably why I was having such a hard time. Well... the tyres got pumped up, and I felt like I was riding on air. We did about 10km that day, in about an hour and a half - still stopping at times for me to catch up, but definitely an improvement.
Over the next few months, I trained. My brother, a keen cyclist, upgraded his bike and gifted me his old one for my birthday in May. I live right on the bike track so headed out 3-4 times a week for that infamous 8km (16km round trip) section - each time, I 'checked in' on Facebook on my phone once I got to the muesli bar spot. I had named it 'The Place Where Kelly Wanted To Die At The First Bike Club Meeting', and all my Facebook friends found out when I had been riding. My time progressively decreased as my fitness got better. The new bike was awesome - it had a much wider gear range, thinner tyres, and felt good under my bum. I developed callouses on my butt cheeks. My tail bone got over it's bruising from the first ride and I began to get my rhythm and gear changes sorted as I got to know the trail.
Then, I saw ads for a ride along Eastlink - a toll road that the bike track runs alongside. The road would be closed to motorists for the day, and we could ride the entire length (75km round trip) or half (35km round trip) to raise money for charity. My brother dared me to sign up for the 35km ride. He would be overseas at the time (riding from Spain to Germany at approx 100km a day...) so couldn't join me, but he wanted me to do it. Ash and her boyfriend signed up as well.
So, on November 13, we got our bikes on the train to the start line, lined up, and rode 35km along a lovely section of freeway, which ended in two gigantic tunnels - a nice downhill followed by a ridiculous uphill... TWICE. I set myself a time limit of two hours - it was definitely a challenge, but I finished in 1:54. I had to walk out of the last tunnel because my legs were just jelly, but as soon as I was out of the tunnel I jumped back on and rode the 500m to the finish, with tears streaming down my very red, sweaty face.
Over summer, I took up the C25K program, got more into the gym/treadmill/cardio, and sort of forgot about my bike. You might recall my post from a last week where I took the old bike for a spin again, and loved it. Today, I realised that it was February 19, so I wanted to relive the horror that was 12 months ago.
February 19, 2012.
The sun was shining, the birds were chirping, and I've spent most of the day in bed catching up on reading, TV shows that I've downloaded, and surfing the Net. I was looking back on the old Facebook page we had created for Bike Club, and realised that we had ridden on this day last year for the first time. It was 5:30pm, and I thought to myself, "Why not? See what you can do..." I put my leggings and tank on, cranked up the HRM and set off.
I flew. I really, really flew. I got to the spot, checked my watch, and saw 22:30. Twenty-two and a half minutes for 8km that a year ago took me over an hour. I set myself a challenge. I would turn around and go home, then turn around and come back and see if I could make it in an hour. I didn't check my watch. I focussed on riding to the beat of the music playing in my ears. I focussed on pushing my legs that little bit harder, on keeping my heart rate up, on breathing steadily. I focussed on how great it felt to be riding, feeling that burn, but not wanting to die. On wanting to keep going and prove to myself that I CAN DO IT.
I got back to the spot, the 24km mark, and glanced at my watch. 1:01:30. I had missed my goal by a minute and a half. I actually didn't give a toss. I grinned, turned around and headed for home. Only another 8km to go.
I think I smiled for the entire 8km. I even sang along to the tunes... which must have been ridiculous to any pedestrians or people whose backyards run along the track. I don't sing well. I don't know all the words. And you know what? I don't care what people think of me any more. Let them think I'm a crazy person... I'm a crazy person who just did what 12 months ago was impossible.
I finished the 33.44km ride in just under 90 minutes. That's almost half an hour off my 35km time in November, and I haven't even been training on the bike since I finished that ride.
My first ride, 12 months ago? 6.5km/h.
Today? 22km/h.
What a difference a year makes.
Saturday 18 February 2012
Guess what I did today??
I ran for twenty effing minutes without stopping!!! I am so so proud of myself. This challenge has been eating away at me ever since I started the C25K 6 weeks ago. I stupidly looked ahead and saw that I'd have to run for 20 minutes non-stop, and since then I have been convinced that I couldn't do it. The first attempt I lasted almost 10 minutes. The second try was about 5. The third try I got to about 2 minutes and my HRM was playing up so I just gave up.
I ordered a new chest strap for my HRM, and it was still playing up. Overnight, a thought came to me... I haven't tightened it in a while, and when I got my new one I tightened it to the same length as my old one. So this arvo when I got home from work, I grabbed it and tightened it another two inches or so. It's elastic, so of course I haven't lost two inches around my chest.... but IT WORKED. All I needed was to tighten the bloody thing and it was fine. I guess Mum is getting a HRM for her birthday as I ordered a new one as soon as the replacement chest strap wasn't working. I hope she likes it!
Anyhoo... I popped off to the gym to do my SSS and was determined to do 2 hours on the tready. I walked in the door and someone was on MY treadmill. I don't like the other four, just that one, so I was a bit disappointed. The dude looked kinda sweaty, so I put my stuff in one of the lockers and thought I'd do some weights while I waited for him to finish. Doing my weights, I realised I haven't done them in about 3 weeks. SLACKER! Even though my treadmill was free within about 5 minutes, I finished my weights sesh (only takes 20 minutes as I only do upper body) and then jumped on the treadmill.
Another guy there was running, but he was running really really slowly. I'd watched him for about ten minutes while I was doing my weights (I like to distract myself from the pain, I'm so weak in the upper body) and he ran the whole time. I thought... why not give it a go. The last few times I've attempted the run, I've done it at 7.5km/h. I walk at 6.1, and do my sprints at 9.0, so figured 7.5 was middle ground. Well... this time I put it on 6.5km/h. I can walk that fast (faster, actually) but that's about the slowest I can run without looking like a nong.
I got through the first two minutes easily. Broke a sweat, and thought I'd go for five. The Living End were on Channel V doing a live concert at a surfing festival, so I had some good tunes going. Before I knew it, ten minutes had passed, and I had just been jamming along to all my old favourites. I was breathing well, running comfortably, and felt really good. Fuck it... I'll go for the 20.
20 minutes came along really quickly. The pace was good - it wasn't easy, but I wasn't gasping for breath like I usually am. I was sweating heavily (even got some drips in my eyes!) and had to learn how to co-ordinate the drink bottle business while running. I was so proud! Done and dusted, now I can move on with the program.
I only got to about 2.5km in the 20 minutes. I'm signed up for a 5k on the 1st of April, and I want to do that in under 40 minutes. I think if I stay on track (pace my runs well, and not give up), I'll actually have a chance at achieving that. This has been such a mental block for me, and I'm happy I'm over the hurdle. As soon as I'm finished with the phone app C25K, I'm going to take my running away from the treadmill and onto the bike track. I need to train in more real conditions, and I need to learn how to pace myself without the aid of a treadmill going at the correct speed. I also need to learn how to do all this without music - the race has a 'no i-Pod' policy, so it'll just be me and my thoughts. Jeebus... I might be in trouble!
I ordered a new chest strap for my HRM, and it was still playing up. Overnight, a thought came to me... I haven't tightened it in a while, and when I got my new one I tightened it to the same length as my old one. So this arvo when I got home from work, I grabbed it and tightened it another two inches or so. It's elastic, so of course I haven't lost two inches around my chest.... but IT WORKED. All I needed was to tighten the bloody thing and it was fine. I guess Mum is getting a HRM for her birthday as I ordered a new one as soon as the replacement chest strap wasn't working. I hope she likes it!
Anyhoo... I popped off to the gym to do my SSS and was determined to do 2 hours on the tready. I walked in the door and someone was on MY treadmill. I don't like the other four, just that one, so I was a bit disappointed. The dude looked kinda sweaty, so I put my stuff in one of the lockers and thought I'd do some weights while I waited for him to finish. Doing my weights, I realised I haven't done them in about 3 weeks. SLACKER! Even though my treadmill was free within about 5 minutes, I finished my weights sesh (only takes 20 minutes as I only do upper body) and then jumped on the treadmill.
Another guy there was running, but he was running really really slowly. I'd watched him for about ten minutes while I was doing my weights (I like to distract myself from the pain, I'm so weak in the upper body) and he ran the whole time. I thought... why not give it a go. The last few times I've attempted the run, I've done it at 7.5km/h. I walk at 6.1, and do my sprints at 9.0, so figured 7.5 was middle ground. Well... this time I put it on 6.5km/h. I can walk that fast (faster, actually) but that's about the slowest I can run without looking like a nong.
I got through the first two minutes easily. Broke a sweat, and thought I'd go for five. The Living End were on Channel V doing a live concert at a surfing festival, so I had some good tunes going. Before I knew it, ten minutes had passed, and I had just been jamming along to all my old favourites. I was breathing well, running comfortably, and felt really good. Fuck it... I'll go for the 20.
20 minutes came along really quickly. The pace was good - it wasn't easy, but I wasn't gasping for breath like I usually am. I was sweating heavily (even got some drips in my eyes!) and had to learn how to co-ordinate the drink bottle business while running. I was so proud! Done and dusted, now I can move on with the program.
I only got to about 2.5km in the 20 minutes. I'm signed up for a 5k on the 1st of April, and I want to do that in under 40 minutes. I think if I stay on track (pace my runs well, and not give up), I'll actually have a chance at achieving that. This has been such a mental block for me, and I'm happy I'm over the hurdle. As soon as I'm finished with the phone app C25K, I'm going to take my running away from the treadmill and onto the bike track. I need to train in more real conditions, and I need to learn how to pace myself without the aid of a treadmill going at the correct speed. I also need to learn how to do all this without music - the race has a 'no i-Pod' policy, so it'll just be me and my thoughts. Jeebus... I might be in trouble!
Friday 17 February 2012
Urgh
The last two days have not been good. Why am I sabotaging myself? Tomorrow, after work (bugger working on a Saturday, but I need the money too...), this is what I promise myself.
I WILL burn over 1000 calories at the gym
I WILL eat well ALL day
I WILL reward myself by looking after my feet - mini pedi (soak, scrub, slather)
I WILL read at least 1 chapter of Gone With the Wind
And on Sunday:
I WILL burn over 1000 calories on a bike ride/at the gym
I WILL see my boyfriend
I WILL make sure my washing is up to date, including folding and putting away
I WILL cook up some scrummy meals to have in the freezer
This week, I have let things slide. I've let some of the old excuses creep back in, some of the old habits sneak back in. THIS CANNOT HAPPEN. I need to remember my goals, what I am doing, why I am doing it, and how I feel when I do it well. I need to remember how I feel when I don't do it. I have to do this. My life actually depends on it.
I WILL burn over 1000 calories at the gym
I WILL eat well ALL day
I WILL reward myself by looking after my feet - mini pedi (soak, scrub, slather)
I WILL read at least 1 chapter of Gone With the Wind
And on Sunday:
I WILL burn over 1000 calories on a bike ride/at the gym
I WILL see my boyfriend
I WILL make sure my washing is up to date, including folding and putting away
I WILL cook up some scrummy meals to have in the freezer
This week, I have let things slide. I've let some of the old excuses creep back in, some of the old habits sneak back in. THIS CANNOT HAPPEN. I need to remember my goals, what I am doing, why I am doing it, and how I feel when I do it well. I need to remember how I feel when I don't do it. I have to do this. My life actually depends on it.
Wednesday 15 February 2012
Wednesday Weigh Day
I've realised it's been a little while since I posted, but no-one needs to read about the daily grind (get up, go to work, come home, get changed, go to gym, eat dinner, go to sleep, start again).... at least not every day!
Yesterday was Valentine's Day, and I got my very first EVER Valentine's present from my beautiful boy. We've been together six months (on Sunday!) and he is just gorgeous. This is going to sound mean... but if you knew me, you'd get this next part. He's such a loser! Haha, but so am I so we're perfect for each other. He sent flowers to my work, and I gave him a set of new saucepans. He's so romantic, I just hate his saucepans.
I decided my rest day would be V-Day as I'd planned to cook D a romantic dinner, complete with massage. He certainly appreciated that, especially after I made him replace my tail-lights on my car, fix my toilet, and help fold the washing as soon as he got to my place. We're a team, and he certainly pulls his weight when I'm around. That will change when we're married, he's knocked me up a few times, and I spend all day at home cooking, cleaning and looking after our babies. But while we're both working full-time, he helps me, and of course I help him when we're at his place!
Anyway, there was a point to that ramble.... ummm.. yeah - I weighed in this morning!! First real weigh-in of the 12WBT and I'm down another 700g. Woohoo!!! 107.1kg this morning. Can't wait to see that number go under 100 - definitely will happen by the end of the program but I'm shooting for halfway. A girl can dream, can't she?
Yesterday was Valentine's Day, and I got my very first EVER Valentine's present from my beautiful boy. We've been together six months (on Sunday!) and he is just gorgeous. This is going to sound mean... but if you knew me, you'd get this next part. He's such a loser! Haha, but so am I so we're perfect for each other. He sent flowers to my work, and I gave him a set of new saucepans. He's so romantic, I just hate his saucepans.
I decided my rest day would be V-Day as I'd planned to cook D a romantic dinner, complete with massage. He certainly appreciated that, especially after I made him replace my tail-lights on my car, fix my toilet, and help fold the washing as soon as he got to my place. We're a team, and he certainly pulls his weight when I'm around. That will change when we're married, he's knocked me up a few times, and I spend all day at home cooking, cleaning and looking after our babies. But while we're both working full-time, he helps me, and of course I help him when we're at his place!
Anyway, there was a point to that ramble.... ummm.. yeah - I weighed in this morning!! First real weigh-in of the 12WBT and I'm down another 700g. Woohoo!!! 107.1kg this morning. Can't wait to see that number go under 100 - definitely will happen by the end of the program but I'm shooting for halfway. A girl can dream, can't she?
Sunday 12 February 2012
Ahh the wind in my hair!
With all the positive/negative of yesterday's post, I realised that I forgot to mention how amazing I felt on my bike. It's probably been about 6 weeks since I went for a ride, and I really have missed it! That feeling of the wind flowing around me, getting somewhere, enjoying the scenery. It was truly lovely. I mustn't forget that there is a world outside the gym. I can get cardio from other places than the treadmill. Mother Nature has created the perfect workout arena!!!
Saturday 11 February 2012
A plus and a minus today..
Let's start on a positive note!
Helga's have bought out a new product - sandwich thins. I have heard so much about these goodies from my US friends on MFP, and they have finally arrived in Australia. I gave them a go this past week for breakfasts - spread a little cream cheese and a couple of slices of deli chicken, squished in the sandwich press. Yummo! Then some genius suggested using them as pizza bases... Well, my eyes (and my stomach) lit up at the thought. I friggin LOVE pizza. I whipped up a batch this afternoon:
Makes 12 pizzas
126 calories each
6 pairs of sandwich thins (I used wholemeal)
3 eggs
150g grated tasty cheese
1 onion, diced
1 green capsicum, diced
1 red capsicum, diced
75g mushrooms, diced
1/3 cup Ardmona Pizza Sauce
Preheat the oven to 180 degrees celsius. Separate thins so that you have 12 pizzas, and place them on a couple of baking paper lined trays. Spread the sauce on the sandwich thins. Combine all other ingredients in a bowl and mix well. Top each thin with 1/12th of the mixture. Bake for approx 15 minutes or until cheese is slightly browned.
These can be frozen, so I froze half and will be taking the other half to work for breakfasts this week.
I thought I had bacon bits in my freezer, but I obviously threw them out in the big kitchen cleanout that was task #4 of the 12WBT preseason. I'm sure it would be lovely with bacon bits or ham involved, or even some shredded chicken breast. You can basically put anything in the mixture - pineapple, prawns, olives, tomato. I just used what I had in the fridge!
And now the negative for the day... When I popped to the shops to buy more thins (I only had 6 bases and had heaps of mixture left), I made the mistake of wandering to the chocky aisle where I picked up a block of Black Forest Dairy Milk. I ate the entire thing in the 15 minutes it took for the pizzas to cook. I'm actually disgusted with myself. I did, however, write it straight in my food diary, and as soon as the pizzas were done I threw on my exercise clothes and did the 12WBT fitness test (1km run/walk, wall sit, push-ups for 1 min, sit and reach, and ab test) and then went for a 16km bike ride. I've only burned 550 of the 1016 calories of chocolate that I ate, but I've burned SOME, AND written them in my diary. I am not going to lie to myself any longer.
I plan on heading to the gym in the morning for a 2 hour session as I'll be off to the boyfriend's for dinner and a movie (our 6 month anniversary) and I do NOT want it to ruin my very first official weigh-in. It's also Valentine's Day on Tuesday so I'll probably be having a special dinner then too. I am having it at my place though, and the boy knows that gym definitely comes first when we get home. Then we can play all we like :)
Helga's have bought out a new product - sandwich thins. I have heard so much about these goodies from my US friends on MFP, and they have finally arrived in Australia. I gave them a go this past week for breakfasts - spread a little cream cheese and a couple of slices of deli chicken, squished in the sandwich press. Yummo! Then some genius suggested using them as pizza bases... Well, my eyes (and my stomach) lit up at the thought. I friggin LOVE pizza. I whipped up a batch this afternoon:
Makes 12 pizzas
126 calories each
6 pairs of sandwich thins (I used wholemeal)
3 eggs
150g grated tasty cheese
1 onion, diced
1 green capsicum, diced
1 red capsicum, diced
75g mushrooms, diced
1/3 cup Ardmona Pizza Sauce
Preheat the oven to 180 degrees celsius. Separate thins so that you have 12 pizzas, and place them on a couple of baking paper lined trays. Spread the sauce on the sandwich thins. Combine all other ingredients in a bowl and mix well. Top each thin with 1/12th of the mixture. Bake for approx 15 minutes or until cheese is slightly browned.
These can be frozen, so I froze half and will be taking the other half to work for breakfasts this week.
I thought I had bacon bits in my freezer, but I obviously threw them out in the big kitchen cleanout that was task #4 of the 12WBT preseason. I'm sure it would be lovely with bacon bits or ham involved, or even some shredded chicken breast. You can basically put anything in the mixture - pineapple, prawns, olives, tomato. I just used what I had in the fridge!
And now the negative for the day... When I popped to the shops to buy more thins (I only had 6 bases and had heaps of mixture left), I made the mistake of wandering to the chocky aisle where I picked up a block of Black Forest Dairy Milk. I ate the entire thing in the 15 minutes it took for the pizzas to cook. I'm actually disgusted with myself. I did, however, write it straight in my food diary, and as soon as the pizzas were done I threw on my exercise clothes and did the 12WBT fitness test (1km run/walk, wall sit, push-ups for 1 min, sit and reach, and ab test) and then went for a 16km bike ride. I've only burned 550 of the 1016 calories of chocolate that I ate, but I've burned SOME, AND written them in my diary. I am not going to lie to myself any longer.
I plan on heading to the gym in the morning for a 2 hour session as I'll be off to the boyfriend's for dinner and a movie (our 6 month anniversary) and I do NOT want it to ruin my very first official weigh-in. It's also Valentine's Day on Tuesday so I'll probably be having a special dinner then too. I am having it at my place though, and the boy knows that gym definitely comes first when we get home. Then we can play all we like :)
Thursday 9 February 2012
Hit the C25K wall...
I'm up to W5D3 of the C25K... the dreaded 20 minute no break run. I've attempted it for the last 3 nights, and I just can't do it. I have a mental block in my head that I can't do it. I know that it is definitely my mind stopping me, and all these excuses flood my head as soon as I get to the 5 minute mark and then I struggle. I struggle between pushing the stop button and keeping on running. The most I've made it to is 9:30, and that was the first attempt. The other two times (tonight and last night) I have shut it off when I hit the 5 minute mark.
I've decided to give it a break, but only for a week. I'm going to start fresh next Wednesday - start the whole week again (W5) and do it Wednesday, Friday, Sunday. Sunday will be the 20 minute run. I know that I can do it, but part of me always finds a way not to. I'd love to say that I fail at everything, so it only makes sense to fail at this too, but it's not the case. The only times I fail are the times when I tell myself that I can't do something. My mind defeats me. I need to get my confidence back.
I'm hoping that the break (continuing to do intervals on the tready this week) will give my muscles time to recuperate, and for me to talk myself back into this. I need to be at the gym by myself, get a playlist together, and JFDI!!!!
I've decided to give it a break, but only for a week. I'm going to start fresh next Wednesday - start the whole week again (W5) and do it Wednesday, Friday, Sunday. Sunday will be the 20 minute run. I know that I can do it, but part of me always finds a way not to. I'd love to say that I fail at everything, so it only makes sense to fail at this too, but it's not the case. The only times I fail are the times when I tell myself that I can't do something. My mind defeats me. I need to get my confidence back.
I'm hoping that the break (continuing to do intervals on the tready this week) will give my muscles time to recuperate, and for me to talk myself back into this. I need to be at the gym by myself, get a playlist together, and JFDI!!!!
Wednesday 8 February 2012
Weigh In Wednesday... The last 'pretend' one!
This morning I weighed in... 107.8!! 600g down from last week, which I am very happy with considering the weekend that I had. I'm glad that it's still a loss, but I'm also glad that it's not more than that. The last two weeks I have eaten well, exercised well, and lost over a kilo. This week, I didn't eat so well, exercised pretty well, and lost 600g. It was a healthy lesson to learn that the program DOES WORK. I need to stick to it as much as possible if I want to shift this weight as quickly as I do.
I've set myself a goal weight of 70kg, with a deadline of 31st December 2012. That means I have another 37.8kg to lose in the 48-ish weeks until then. I need to lose more that a kilo a week at the beginning, because I know that my rate of loss will slow down as I get closer to my goal. It will get harder and harder as I get fitter and fitter, and I won't burn as much in an hour as I can now.
I've also set a mini-goal for my birthday, which just happens to be the end of the 12WBT (in the week after) so I want to be 90kg by my birthday. So there's 13 weeks that I need to lose nearly 18kg. I know it's a tough goal, but I'm really going to give it my all. It's 12 weeks. It's not the rest of my life. My mindset will have to change for the rest of my life, but I won't have to work my butt off every day for the rest of my life. It's just 12 weeks.
I've set myself a goal weight of 70kg, with a deadline of 31st December 2012. That means I have another 37.8kg to lose in the 48-ish weeks until then. I need to lose more that a kilo a week at the beginning, because I know that my rate of loss will slow down as I get closer to my goal. It will get harder and harder as I get fitter and fitter, and I won't burn as much in an hour as I can now.
I've also set a mini-goal for my birthday, which just happens to be the end of the 12WBT (in the week after) so I want to be 90kg by my birthday. So there's 13 weeks that I need to lose nearly 18kg. I know it's a tough goal, but I'm really going to give it my all. It's 12 weeks. It's not the rest of my life. My mindset will have to change for the rest of my life, but I won't have to work my butt off every day for the rest of my life. It's just 12 weeks.
Sunday 5 February 2012
A wishy-washy weekend
This weekend has been a battle, let me tell you!
Saturday I did no exercise, and ended up with a pizza and garlic bread for dinner. I was headed out the door to the supermarket when I turned the other way and walked to the pizza shop. I was going to make my own pizza, and after inputting everything into MyFitnessPal, I think I really just gave up. I don't know what happened.
I had spent the afternoon going through all of Mish's cookbooks and writing down which recipes I want to try. I'm a very fussy eater - I don't like fruit, yoghurt, and a lot of salad staples - so I need to get a lot of ideas to fall back on when these things are included in the menus I'm about to be provided. I have planned all my dinners for this week, and had written out my shopping list to buy everything I needed so there would be no excuses when I got home from work each night this week. I went to check the fridge to see if I had some of the items already in there, and got super pissed off because my housemate has filled the fridge with all of her food (she's doing the million kilo challenge and shopped for the week too). I'm fine with the fridge being full of healthy stuff, but it's not cool that I can't fit ANYTHING in there myself. We have a huge fridge - and in the year that we've been living together, the top two shelves have always been hers and the bottom two have always been mine. ALL FOUR shelves are filled with fruit and veggies (none of which have been touched this entire week, mind you) and there's no room for me to fit anything. Anyway, I cracked the sads and headed off to the pizza shop. I ended up not being able to eat the whole pizza like I planned (had the leftovers for lunch today) and was only over my calories by about 500, so not as bad as it could have been.
Today went a little better. I woke up with the intention of exercising like a demon, and I did. 1114 calories gone in two hours - C25K plus 90 minutes of treadmill. I'm going to stop and celebrate today's run, because I ran for the longest I have ever run in one go - 8 minutes. And I ran for 8 minutes TWICE. I think I did 8 minutes once before, but I certainly didn't go back for a second round. I'm scared, but also excited for my next run (which will be Wednesday) because I peeked ahead and it's 20 minutes, no break. I'm really glad I've committed to listening to this lady and promised myself to do everything that she says.
After my run/walk/sweat session, I came back home and had a look at the menu I had planned for this week. I had decided on Chicken Rice Paper Rolls for dinner tomorrow night, as I have Calisthenics (Yay!! It goes back tomorrow after 2 months off) and need something I can literally grab and eat in about 10 minutes, before I go to class. I also need it not to be too filling as we always start with a giant warm-up/stretch session and I feel sick if I've eaten anything heavy beforehand. I put together a shopping list for the ingredients I needed and headed out to the supermarket. Here comes win number two. I DIDN'T GO DOWN THE CHOCOLATE AISLE.
I got in, got my stuff, and got out. I bought enough ingredients for a double batch of the Rolls, so I could make and freeze lots of them for Monday nights for the next few weeks. I spent the afternoon making them (it really only took about an hour from start to finish and I had no idea what was going on half the time... so tricky until you get the hang of the Rice Paper) and I ended up making 18 rolls, rather than the 12 that the recipe called for. So I now have 6 weeks worth of Monday night dinners ready to go. Awesome!
Sunday was a LOT better than Saturday.
I also experienced crazy toilet action all night last night, after eating that pizza and garlic bread. A lesson to myself that food like that is not good for me. My tastebuds certainly enjoyed it, but my digestive system definitely did not. The leftovers went okay today at lunchtime, but I won't be in a hurry to repeat that session for a very long time. I can't afford that much toilet paper!!
When I total up the calories for the weekend, I've come out about 500 calories in front. Given that it's the weekend, according to Mish's plan, I should be 1000 calories in front, so it wasn't a complete waste. I don't want to think about 'making up' the calories I've missed, because I don't want to be constantly chasing a specific number. I am, however, committing to burning 3500 calories from Monday to Sunday this week. It's what I am going to be expected to do the week after when the 'real stuff' begins, and I need to set it as my target for this week to know that I am capable. If I average out my burns for January, I did complete this, but I want to make it more consistent from now on. Rather than having a couple of rest days and a couple of 1000 calorie burns, I want to make it 500 per day. I'm not sure what my plans are boyfriend-wise this week, but next week we have our six month anniversary AND Valentine's Day so there needs to be NO EXCUSE why I can't get my calories burned.
I need to do this.
Saturday I did no exercise, and ended up with a pizza and garlic bread for dinner. I was headed out the door to the supermarket when I turned the other way and walked to the pizza shop. I was going to make my own pizza, and after inputting everything into MyFitnessPal, I think I really just gave up. I don't know what happened.
I had spent the afternoon going through all of Mish's cookbooks and writing down which recipes I want to try. I'm a very fussy eater - I don't like fruit, yoghurt, and a lot of salad staples - so I need to get a lot of ideas to fall back on when these things are included in the menus I'm about to be provided. I have planned all my dinners for this week, and had written out my shopping list to buy everything I needed so there would be no excuses when I got home from work each night this week. I went to check the fridge to see if I had some of the items already in there, and got super pissed off because my housemate has filled the fridge with all of her food (she's doing the million kilo challenge and shopped for the week too). I'm fine with the fridge being full of healthy stuff, but it's not cool that I can't fit ANYTHING in there myself. We have a huge fridge - and in the year that we've been living together, the top two shelves have always been hers and the bottom two have always been mine. ALL FOUR shelves are filled with fruit and veggies (none of which have been touched this entire week, mind you) and there's no room for me to fit anything. Anyway, I cracked the sads and headed off to the pizza shop. I ended up not being able to eat the whole pizza like I planned (had the leftovers for lunch today) and was only over my calories by about 500, so not as bad as it could have been.
Today went a little better. I woke up with the intention of exercising like a demon, and I did. 1114 calories gone in two hours - C25K plus 90 minutes of treadmill. I'm going to stop and celebrate today's run, because I ran for the longest I have ever run in one go - 8 minutes. And I ran for 8 minutes TWICE. I think I did 8 minutes once before, but I certainly didn't go back for a second round. I'm scared, but also excited for my next run (which will be Wednesday) because I peeked ahead and it's 20 minutes, no break. I'm really glad I've committed to listening to this lady and promised myself to do everything that she says.
After my run/walk/sweat session, I came back home and had a look at the menu I had planned for this week. I had decided on Chicken Rice Paper Rolls for dinner tomorrow night, as I have Calisthenics (Yay!! It goes back tomorrow after 2 months off) and need something I can literally grab and eat in about 10 minutes, before I go to class. I also need it not to be too filling as we always start with a giant warm-up/stretch session and I feel sick if I've eaten anything heavy beforehand. I put together a shopping list for the ingredients I needed and headed out to the supermarket. Here comes win number two. I DIDN'T GO DOWN THE CHOCOLATE AISLE.
I got in, got my stuff, and got out. I bought enough ingredients for a double batch of the Rolls, so I could make and freeze lots of them for Monday nights for the next few weeks. I spent the afternoon making them (it really only took about an hour from start to finish and I had no idea what was going on half the time... so tricky until you get the hang of the Rice Paper) and I ended up making 18 rolls, rather than the 12 that the recipe called for. So I now have 6 weeks worth of Monday night dinners ready to go. Awesome!
Sunday was a LOT better than Saturday.
I also experienced crazy toilet action all night last night, after eating that pizza and garlic bread. A lesson to myself that food like that is not good for me. My tastebuds certainly enjoyed it, but my digestive system definitely did not. The leftovers went okay today at lunchtime, but I won't be in a hurry to repeat that session for a very long time. I can't afford that much toilet paper!!
When I total up the calories for the weekend, I've come out about 500 calories in front. Given that it's the weekend, according to Mish's plan, I should be 1000 calories in front, so it wasn't a complete waste. I don't want to think about 'making up' the calories I've missed, because I don't want to be constantly chasing a specific number. I am, however, committing to burning 3500 calories from Monday to Sunday this week. It's what I am going to be expected to do the week after when the 'real stuff' begins, and I need to set it as my target for this week to know that I am capable. If I average out my burns for January, I did complete this, but I want to make it more consistent from now on. Rather than having a couple of rest days and a couple of 1000 calorie burns, I want to make it 500 per day. I'm not sure what my plans are boyfriend-wise this week, but next week we have our six month anniversary AND Valentine's Day so there needs to be NO EXCUSE why I can't get my calories burned.
I need to do this.
Saturday 4 February 2012
Two steps forward, one step back
This week, I have fallen into the trap of justifying a little chocolate by saying that I worked hard at the gym. I HAVE worked hard at the gym, but I haven't worked hard enough to waste it on bloody chocolate. I need to think of this like I think when I'm running. That little voice in my head is saying '5 minutes is too long, you cant do it' and then the other voice says 'You can do it, you know you can do it, just keep going'.
I sound schizophrenic, but I assure you that this inner dialogue happens to everyone. My chocolate craving voice is very strong right now. I don't know why, but I need to learn how to shut that girl up. She doesn't go away when she gets the chocolate, she just wants more. I need to stop giving in to that voice, exercise that willpower muscle, and just NOT BUY IT.
I need to think about how amazing I feel after I hit that 'stop' button on the treadmill - when my legs are pinging and my lungs are bursting and the sweat is pouring down my back, chest and arms. I feel amazing, like I can do anything. And then I need to think about how I feel after overindulging in chocolate. There's no guilt, but there is a bit of shame, a feeling that exercise was wasted, disbelief that the chocolate is gone so quickly. But there's also the physical feelings. My heart races, all the sugar makes me feel exhausted, I sometimes have a headache, my mood goes down. Thinking about it now, and trying to describe how I feel, it's quite strange.
I've come to the realisation that I'm not an emotional eater, I eat because I'm bored. I want chocolate late at night when I probably should be sleeping but am trying to squeeze in two or three episodes of whatever I've been downloading at the time. I need to stop this. I need to reactivate my alarm that reminds me to take my pill, and use it as a sleep alarm as well. I know we usually use alarms to wake up, but if my phone physically tells me to 'kill the babies and go the f*ck to sleep' (god, I love iPhones) then half the time I might actually do it. 10pm is a decent time to go to sleep when I wake up at 630 each day. I need to get into the habit of sleeping more, so that I'm not tired late in the week.
This few minutes of soul-searching has been good. I feel re-energised, and am determined to get out the diary I bought during the week and plan my week for next week - scheduling in workouts (with descriptions of what will be done and when) and also working out food. I'm pretty organised with my food - I've got lots of stuff in the freezer ready to go for lunches for work, and a set breakky at work that I'm completely happy to have. Dinners are the only meal I don't have prepared already, so I need to sort out those this week - have a few recipes ready, and the shopping for them done tomorrow so that there really are NO EXCUSES. And no reasons to stop by the chocolate aisle to sneak in a couple of somethings.....
Wednesday 1 February 2012
Wednesday Weigh Day
OMG I am ecstatic!!! 108.4 was staring back at me this morning. I have worked HARD this week, but I have also had a few oopsies (Friday night drinks/KFC, and a little chocolate here and there). I knew there would be a loss, but I really thought it would be minimal. Like 100grams. NOT 1.7 KILOGRAMS.
I cant get complacent, there are still 48 weeks in the year of me - and I want to see 70 on the scale by Christmas. It's a tough ask - but if I can keep up this level of intensity and knock more off earlier, those last few kgs that always go slow will have the right time to work their way off me.
I actually have tears running down my face. I don't know when I last weighed under 110kg. I know when I moved out of my bedroom into the converted garage at my parent's house I was around 110kg, and that was almost 10 years ago. I lost about 4-5 kilos before I gave up. I remember getting teased in Grade 6 for being 41kg (heaviest in the class), but I don't remember doing anything about it then. I shouldn't have had to do anything about it then - I was only 11!!
The other day I was transferring all of my old calisthenics photos into new albums. We get professional photos taken every year, in around October, and Mum always got me a copy of all of them. I was trying to work out exactly when I got fat, but it really was a gradual thing - each year I just got a little bigger. Well... this year's photos are going to be amazing! I'm going to push myself to the front of every one of them and won't be afraid of my leg fat squishing together, or of sucking my guts in just before the lady snaps. Or of ruining the photo for everyone else in it.
I'm proud of me already. I can't wait to see how I feel in 13 weeks' time at the end of the 12WBT. I can't wait to see how I feel in 15 weeks' time on my birthday. I can't wait to see how I feel at Christmas time, at my UGW, not giving a toss what I'm wearing or what my family think of my weight. Weigh-ins like this give me motivation to keep going. I wonder how I'll feel when it starts to slow down?? Will I be as excited? Or will I be disappointed that I lost less?
I cant get complacent, there are still 48 weeks in the year of me - and I want to see 70 on the scale by Christmas. It's a tough ask - but if I can keep up this level of intensity and knock more off earlier, those last few kgs that always go slow will have the right time to work their way off me.
I actually have tears running down my face. I don't know when I last weighed under 110kg. I know when I moved out of my bedroom into the converted garage at my parent's house I was around 110kg, and that was almost 10 years ago. I lost about 4-5 kilos before I gave up. I remember getting teased in Grade 6 for being 41kg (heaviest in the class), but I don't remember doing anything about it then. I shouldn't have had to do anything about it then - I was only 11!!
The other day I was transferring all of my old calisthenics photos into new albums. We get professional photos taken every year, in around October, and Mum always got me a copy of all of them. I was trying to work out exactly when I got fat, but it really was a gradual thing - each year I just got a little bigger. Well... this year's photos are going to be amazing! I'm going to push myself to the front of every one of them and won't be afraid of my leg fat squishing together, or of sucking my guts in just before the lady snaps. Or of ruining the photo for everyone else in it.
I'm proud of me already. I can't wait to see how I feel in 13 weeks' time at the end of the 12WBT. I can't wait to see how I feel in 15 weeks' time on my birthday. I can't wait to see how I feel at Christmas time, at my UGW, not giving a toss what I'm wearing or what my family think of my weight. Weigh-ins like this give me motivation to keep going. I wonder how I'll feel when it starts to slow down?? Will I be as excited? Or will I be disappointed that I lost less?
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