The Verdict

400g down.

As I said to Dave this morning.... Imagine if I'd given it my all...

Next week.

I'm starting to see it!

For the first time in a little while, I'm starting to see some changes. The mental changes are easier to see (for me, at least) than the physical ones. I'm still not there completely, and I don't know if I ever will be... but I'm getting so much better. My mindset is a lot more positive.

I can see physical changes in the mirror too. Subtle differences in the shape of my chin, the little collarbone starting to appear, a more defined wrist. But also in day to day life. Yesterday I was walking to the toilet (in the nude, of course!) and noticed that my legs swished past each other a little more than usual. Less squish, more swish! It's difficult to describe to someone who's never been huge, but when you walk in the nude, your thighs are that big that they are constantly pressed together at the top. Well mine aren't so squished any more and they actually move past each other when I walk. It's a strange feeling, but a welcome one!

Tonight, at the gym, I let my willpower win over my negative thoughts. The exercise plan called for 90 seconds of running followed by 90 seconds of walking, repeated for 27 minutes. Halfway through the first 90 seconds, my head started with the negativity. I can't do this. I'm too fat to run. I can't breathe. I fought back. I CAN do this. I'm not too fat to run. Just breathe. And I did it. I struggled, but I did it. Proud is an understatement. Exhausted does not begin to describe my body. Accomplished. That's me.

But there is a downside to this wonderful day. And that comes in the form of an unplanned trip to the supermarket, a couple of cupcakes, and three quarters of a bag of maltesers. A big bag. The run is not enough to undo the damage caused. I can however,  take pride in the fact that the trip did not include biscuits, chips, and lollies, like it would have in the past. It's not a win by any stretch, but it's better than it could have been. Better than the old me, but not as good as the new me.

I can't wait for her to kick butt and take over.

300 Push ups?

The challenge this week from the old Mish was 300 push ups by Sunday night. All week, I've been putting them off.

Monday was cali.
Tuesday was cardio day, and I forgot.
Wednesday was lower body day, and there were too many muscle guys in the gym so I didn't want to do 'girly' push ups near them.
Thursday was cardio day and I ruined myself on the running challenge.
Friday, Saturday and Sunday... There is no excuse...

It's now Sunday night, 9:30pm. What do I do? I have no choice. I've already missed 3 sessions this week. I probably won't make them up. Not probably. I won't. I'll be back at the gym on Tuesday night, but that's a few days away. So I mosey on up to the wall and start pushing. 50 at a time. 6 times. 300 done.

Next week's challenge is 600 step ups. 300 on each leg. I don't have a step here at home, so I'd better do them at the gym.

Let's not pretend this is easy. Let's not pretend I'm going to be perfect in the gym and perfect on the nutrition. But I can say that I'm committed to doing this, for however long it takes. Each slip up is going to mean it takes a bit longer. Mish said something in a video - that this will never end. We will always have to exercise. We will always have to watch what we eat. If we go back to our old habits, we'll end up where we were. I don't plan on going back to the 134kg me. EVER.

Celebrating a little win!

Tonight, I'm celebrating a little win. Today, I've eaten only LnE, done the 12wbt prescribed workout, walked the recommended 10,000 steps, and drunk over 3 litres of water. 4 out of 4.

It won't always be easy to avoid temptation, and it wasn't exactly easy today. I ended up at the cafe, and the vending machine, with a coworker today. She offered to buy me something as I didn't bring my wallet either time. It was easy (but very hard at the same time) to say no, but I'm proud that I did.

This evening's workout called for a run - as long as I could. I managed 3 minutes, which I was very proud of. The challenge every week is to run, and last week was just under 2 minutes. To improve this much in a week is awesome for me! I'm still a long way from my goals, but that's why we set goals - so we have something to strive for. I've set some pretty ambitious goals for my one month milestone, and I probably won't meet them. At this point, I don't think it's that important that I meet them. It's more important that I strive to. It's more important that I turn up for training every day, keep a check on my food, and keep up the (mostly) positive outlook.

I'm enjoying the process right now. I'm enjoying my workouts, I'm enjoying the LnE food, I'm enjoying losing weight at a steady pace while allowing myself to enjoy a few meals outside 'the plan'. Some days are worse than others. Some days are a walk in the park. Some days I want to throw in the towel. Most days I just plod along and do my thing.

It's exciting, it's boring, it's exhilarating, it's tiring. It's life. And I'm pretty happy living it right now.

Running sucks.

Well, I suck at running, anyway. That's why I'm doing the 'Learn to Run' program for 12wbt this round. I want to love it, I just struggle to, seeing as every time I try, my lungs give out waaayyyy before my legs do.

So we're into week 2 of the program and so far I've done a couple of runs, but nothing to write home about. I enjoy interval running more than the 'see how far you can go in one try' running, mostly because there's an end point, and it's not very far away! I refuse to look further ahead in the program because I know that the intervals are going to increase in duration, and right now that won't work in my head, or my lungs!!

I did very well at the baby shower on Sunday, despite numerous plates of delicious pastries and cakes waved under my nose. I arrived to find some gorgeous cupcakes, which I immediately decided I was going to have one of. I timed my attack (10 minutes before home time) and spent the first two hours talking and laughing and playing silly games, rather than stuffing my face. The plan worked!

Monday was a different story, however, with a fundraising morning tea catching me unawares and a late night trip to Maccas after a long night at Cali. Weigh in tomorrow morning... stay tuned...

Never break a promise to yourself!

I usually make a lot of promises to myself - and very rarely keep them! Well, I decided this is going to change. They are usually based around missing exercise, eating sh*t food, and generally treating myself with respect. I have plans to exercise after work, then I get home and decide I won't. I have plans to eat well and then I drive through somewhere, or order something in, or end up in the supermarket.

No more. I am taking responsibility for my actions, owning my decisions, and accepting the consequences of these choices. If I eat like sh*t, so be it. If I miss a session, so be it. But when I promise myself that I will make up for it, I'll be damned if I don't. This week, I was crazy busy. I didn't end up exercising on Wednesday as plans changed. I didn't end up exercising on Friday as I simply couldn't be bothered. One was an excuse beyond my control, and one was an excuse completely based on bullsh*t. But both times, I promised myself that I would do double workouts the next day... and both Thursday and today, I did the bloody double workout. I think Friday's non-compliance was partly due to the fact that I had done the double workout on Thursday, so that's a lesson to be learned.

I don't know how I'm going to go tomorrow doing the SSS (Super Saturday Session) which I now do on Sundays due to my schedule, but I do know that I'll be getting out of bed by 9am, putting on my leggings and runners, and going to the gym. I'll complete the workout as written. I'll eat my LnE brekky before I head off, and I'll eat my LnE lunch when I get home. I'll do my best to pick ONE tasty treat at my friend's baby shower. Dinner is at the local Italian with Mum and Dad, and then one of my pupils has a competition that I have to attend. I'll be busy, but I won't be unprepared. I'll have snacks with me, but will try not to eat them because of the baby shower and the inevitable pasta at the Italian place.

Life happens - and this is my life. I kinda like it right now, although I would like a few spare moments to plan my wedding and trip to Canada to see my baby brother (who just turned 25!)...

When the plans go to sh*t...

My last blog was so positive and then...

... Wednesday happened. On Wednesday, work didn't go so well. I wasn't able to leave on time, it was raining, traffic was hell, and I lost two hours or so in all that crap. I arrived at Mum and Dad's with just enough time to microwave my dinner (so proud that I didn't pull into one of the SEVEN McDonald's I pass on the way there...) and throw it down before heading off to take the class.

Class went really well, all the ladies were really nice and we had a blast. It's hard taking someone else's class because you don't have their vision for the item, you're trying to clarify with everyone what the choreography is meant to be, and you don't want to change anything too drastically for the coach who's work it actually is. We got some of the work cleaned up, but there are a lot of questions for the coach next week!

After class, I did end up at McDonald's for a Coke and a McFlurry. Certainly not the best choices, especially given I skipped the workout. I got home at 10pm, sorted the Lite N Easy order for next week, and fell into bed.

I woke up this morning and instantly didn't want to get out of bed. I did, however, get up, go to work, and start to formulate a plan to make up for the missed session. I can't believe I wasn't able to complete the SECOND session of the program. I'm pretty sure this was an example of an External Excuse beyond my control, so I was only concerned with making up for the lost session, not wallowing in how bad a person I was for not being perfect early on. I looked up the overview of the sessions for yesterday and today, and decided that as soon as I got home from work, I would change and head off to the gym to complete both sessions.

And I did exactly that! I messaged my boyfriend halfway through to put dinner in the oven, came home all sweaty and gross, had a shower, and sat down to a lovely dinner of Fisherman's Pie. I've just realised I didn't do the stretching though, so I'm going to be mighty sore in the morning. I'm ending today with 750 calories to spare, which kind of makes up for the 400 I was over yesterday, but not really. I'm trying not to think of it as 'making up' for missing a workout and eating an icecream, because sometimes life happens. I just need to put everything into my workouts for the next few days and keep the nutrition tight.

I was watching The Biggest Loser from this week, and one of the contestants didn't reach his desired weight loss last weigh-in, so Shannon changed his targets. They don't talk too much about the nitty-gritty on TBL, but Shannon mentioned that Brett was now on a strict 1000 calorie diet with expected expenditures of 800 calories, 3 sessions a day. That is a minimum burn of 2400 calories a day. This guy weighs 145kg. If that's the kind of work I need to put in (on such a low calorie intake) to lose a couple of kilos a week, I'm sorry, but I'm not prepared to do that!!!! I am prepared, however, to keep my calories to a reasonable intake every day, and work hard for the hour that I spend in the gym. I may not have a nutritionist, a personal trainer, and a psychologist on hand 24/7, but I DO have a food program tailor-made to be nutritionally balanced from LnE, a pretty awesome workout plan from Michelle Bridges, and a whole lot of support from people on Facebook and the 12WBT forums.

Anyway, when the plans go to sh*t, don't throw in the towel. Change the plans.

Putting myself first.

Today was my official Day 1 - I know the Round started yesterday, but to be honest I just couldn't after such a big weekend. My head was NOT in the right place to be starting anything new (hello... I caught myself after 20 minutes of not working just staring at my ring!). I also had planned, during my 'Get Organised' preseason task, that Mondays would be my rest day.

I have Cali on Mondays, so it's techincally not a 'rest', but I've noticed during my last 3 rounds that I use the Monday calisthenics as my 'cardio' session, but then feel like I've skipped a session and then just continue to miss sessions all week because I haven't 'started' properly that week.

I woke up this morning with determination (after last night's Cheeseburger and Large Fries from Maccas on the way home) to do something well. I packed a bag full of gym clothes, and headed off to work. Once my boss arrived, I informed him that as I'd started at 7am, I was leaving at 3pm. He's pretty good about that stuff, and I did leave at 3pm. I went to my old gym, did my 'Monday - Cardio' session of Interval Running, and then went about my business (cali coaching, home for dinner) like I would have if I'd left work at 5pm. I've decided that I need to put myself first. Not work. Not cali. Not television. ME.

I'm proud.

Then I got a phone call from the secretary at cali asking me to fill in for a coach who's sick at a class tomorrow night. Bugger. Will that throw my 'Tuesday - Toning' session out the window? Lord knows I won't do it when I get home at 10pm... but class doesn't start until 7:30, so yes, I will be repacking my bag for gym, leaving work at a reasonable hour, driving out to my old gym, and doing the session there. I've lined up Mum's microwave for a quick dinner, and then it'll be off to class.

No excuses.

Birthday weekends ROCK!

:-)

I'm so happy!!

We'll start at the beginning. Friday. My actual birthday. Dave had to work Sunday so he got Friday off too (my workplace gives us our Birthday off as additional annual leave! yay for workplace incentives!!). We changed the alarm time to 8am, and spent a lovely 2 hrs extra in bed. You don't need to know what filled those two hours on a Birthday Morning, but let's just call it 'napping' okay?

So I was all snuggly and loved up and it was time to get ready for the day. The plan was to spend the day at Mum's preparing for the party - cooking, organising the house, making some treats. I did a little marshmallow production line on Thursday night to get those out of the way. Dave had never had these (melt chocolate, put blobs on non-stick paper, squish a marshmallow into the blob, more choc on top and then an M&M on top) and he was astounded that I could make 100 in 5 minutes!! Easy!

I showered, had my LnE breakky, and headed off to Mum's. I arrived to find her and my aunty elbow deep in sausage mince, and the next 4 hours were filled with chatting and baking. We made sh*tloads of sausage rolls, mini pizzas, and quiches. We also threw together a couple of slices for dessert. Yummo! I had brought my LnE for lunch, but ended up eating a couple of quiches that we had forgotten about in the oven (hello crunchy goodness!) instead so whacked it back in the freezer to bring home.

A quick clean and tidy of the house and we were off to get our nails done. The theme for my party was 'Dress Down', so people were to come in their old daggy clothes, pyjamas, trackies, flannies, uggs.... but I was going to be the 'Princess' as a surprise. I got my nails painted to match my dress, and then got back in the car to head to a work dinner.

It was a team bonding dinner, that turned into 'work pays for your meal' so I got a free Parma for my birthday!! Yay! When the food arrived, the Parma was HUGE. I'd been pretty good all day, nibbling nothing except the couple of quiches and NOTHING sweet, but who wants to ruin all that hard work? I knew I was going all out the next day at the party, so I had a couple of chips and then gave the rest of the bowl away to one of the girls who ordered a tiny pasta and wolfed it down within about 3 minutes. She gladly took them from me! I also eyeballed the Parma and selected roughly a third that had a mixture of saucy cheesy goodness and the edge that was oh-so-crunchy and delicious. I cut that 1/3 off, and concentrated on enjoying the chatter, and enjoying each mouthful of my food. If I'm honest, that little section would be more than the Parma on LnE, so I didn't deprive myself, but I'm very glad there were others at the table who-d ordered smaller dishes and were willing to take the rest off my hands (and my plate!) before I overindulged. That was definitely a WIN in the eating stakes. I trundled off home and went to bed early as Saturday was going to be a big one too.

Saturday... PARTY DAY! But first, Cali. We had a whole club practice/performance where everyone from the 3-year-olds right through to the 'Masters' did a big warm-up and stretch and then performed one of our items for each other. It was fun, because the littlies got to see what they're aiming for, and how awesome Cali can be, and the big kids get to know the little kids and help them improve. The parents also got to see why they need to keep bringing their kids - cos us oldies do some pretty AWESOME stuff. One of the girls got me a birthday balloon, and everyone was wishing me a happy birthday all morning. I felt pretty bloody special.

After Cali, I had a big drive back home to collect my cake and make myself beautiful, and then it was back to Mum and Dad's for the party. Some people (with kids) came early and we had some dinner, and before I knew it, people were arriving and the party was in full swing. I'm so glad I decided to have one (a 30th party) as I'm not a big party person but it was a chance for all my friends to be together in one place, and I had a great time. At about 9pm, Dave came up to me stressing that he'd lost his car keys. I was REALLY enjoying the champagne by that time, and didn't think about it much. He eventually found them after 15 minutes and seemed to calm down. I went back to chatting and thought nothing of it.

Speech time. Everyone gathered in the lounge room for the cake and speeches. My Dad gave a lovely, short speech, about how I was my own person, and they're very proud of me. I went on to thank everyone for coming, and to mention that I'm the luckiest girl in the world because I have friends who I call my family, and my family I call my friends. I was feeling the love (and the champagne) a little too much and could hardly speak. Then Dave started talking...

Earlier in the week, I'd asked him jokingly if he'd prepared his speech. He went completely white and stammered a bit, so I didn't expect him to say anything. He started off 'I'd like to thank you all for coming' and my brother yells out from the back of the room 'geez mate, just ask her to marry you!'. The next thing I knew he was in front of me, on one knee, with a ring. WITH A RING.

I couldn't hear anything, I couldn't see anything. I don't know if it was the alcohol, or the shock, but I just burst into tears, and covered my face.

When I took my hands away, he was still there. It wasn't a dream... he was actually asking me to marry him. Of course I said yes, and we had a big hug and a smooch and I think people sang 'Happy Birthday' and I blew out some candles, but honestly all I saw and heard was him for the next few minutes. Then there was a blur of hugging EVERYBODY in the room, some people twice. Not a dry eye in the place.

I sent Dave off to bed at around 1am as he had to be up at 6am for work, and I think I was up until 2 or 3 shooing people out and cleaning up a little before I stumbled off to bed in complete disbelief. And now, after waking up, cleaning up, and coming home, I'm sitting here typing slowly and getting distracted by the shiny ring on my finger...

So now there is, you know, a wedding to plan, and some SERIOUS motivation to be looking EFFING AMAZING for the rest of my life. After my hangover lunch of KFC and Pepsi Max, that is...

KICK OFF tomorrow!!

100th post... better be awesome!!

I was trying to save my 100th post for my birthday, but Wednesday night is a great blogging night, and I couldn't help myself. This week has been wishy-washy, with a few wins, a few learning curves, and a few lightbulb moments.

Some wins:
- I weighed in this morning back at my two-weeks-ago-weight of 109.7kg, which makes me even with Dave-o who thought he snuck under me on his regular Monday morning weigh in. It's now Even Stevens, and a race to see who gets under 100 first. I'm putting my money on him (he's a guy and not going to be attacked by the period monster next week...) but am not going down without a fight.
-I checked in with 12WBT Preseason Tasks tonight - did my fitness test, and the first 6 tasks (excuses, kitchen cleanout, goal setting, etc) tonight after thinking about them for the last two weeks or so. I've decided on the 'Learn to Run' program which should set me up for the 10km and Half Marathon programs for the next two rounds. My goals revolve mostly around learning to run and then running A LOT, with a massive goal of a Half Marathon in 12 months time. Fingers crossed I'm ready early and can do it at Christmas time!

Some learning curves:
-I had dinner with a friend who has stacked on nearly 100kg in 12 months (I had LnE, she had WW, go us!!) and we sat there trying to work out how it gets out of control. We are both astounded at how we let ourselves mindlessly eat and then wake up one day huge not knowing how we got there. We have resolved to keep each other in check with daily emails and mini goals.
-I bought those Nature's Way Probiotic Choc Balls and realised my chocolate addiction is nowhere near under control. My insides are FULL of good bacteria as I scoff them down each night. They're almost gone, and I won't be buying them again. If I want the goodness of 10 tubs of yoghurt, I'm going to have to force 10 tubs of yoghurt down because this is NOT cool.

Some lightbulb moments:
-I don't like being fat. In fact, I love feeling my hipbones coming through, my collarbones coming through. Don't get me wrong, I don't want them to be seen or noticed as being prominent, but it's nice to know they're there and not hidden under layers and layers of fat.
-My boyfriend IS actually my biggest supporter. I didn't realise until he mentioned he felt bad for losing weight last week where I put on... but he has been so encouraging and supportive without being an arrogant wanker about everything. I really must appreciate that more!!
- I realised I hardly ever feel hunger. I feel thirst, and I feel cravings. But I don't often feel hunger. Stopping to ask myself 'do I NEED it or do I WANT it?' has led to many a missed chocolate bar/chip/muffin this week.

Next time you hear from me... I'll be THIRTY!! I can't wait... (note NO sarcasm... I'm actually pretty excited!)

xx

It's time to be brutally honest.

If I'm going to blog about my successes, I've got to be honest and blog about my failures. Today was not a failure, but it certainly WAS NOT a success. I worked this morning, ate to plan for breakky and lunch, and then I shopped. Disaster zone, shopping centres!

I had a few things I needed to pick up for my friend's birthday present, and Mum's Mother's Day present. I did really well, sticking to my list, until I got into the discount lolly shop. A tube of mini Rolos sucked me in. Then there was a bag of 'Gran's fudge', and finally, a red velvet cupcake from the bakery. I didn't eat any of it until I got home. I wrapped the gifts. And then I ate everything. I also ate 6 choc probiotic balls, which I have now thrown out as I clearly can't be trusted if I'm binging on MEDICINE.

I didn't eat a full dinner (usually 400 calories), I had an LnE mini meal (200 calories) instead. I'm still over by around 600 calories for the day, but it seriously could have been worse.

Tomorrow will be a new (and tricky!) day. I need to be smart with my choices at both lunch and dinner as I'm out for both meals tomorrow. If I'm smart, I'll get up early and go for a nice long walk to start the day., but in the vein of honesty, I know I will probably sleep in instead. It's a wishy-washy plan, destined to fail. Let's hope I surprise myself!!

What a prick!

That was my thought when my boyfriend told me his dinner plans tonight. We'd just got home from work, unpacked our LnE order, and I asked him what to put on for his dinner. He told me he was ordering a parma, chips and garlic pizza from the pizza shop, but that I was to stick to LnE.

Um, excuse me? You're going to eat a greasy, juicy parma and chips AND a garlic pizza and I've gotta eat diet food? You prick!

I was so pissed off as I pulled my Steak with Creamy Mushroom Sauce out of the freezer, ripped the lid off, slammed open the oven door, covered that tray in foil, shoved it into the oven, slammed closed the oven door, and angrily pressed the buttons to set the timer for 60 minutes. I decided to stop, breathe, and think.

I've learnt during the last 5 years at work that I have a fiery temper and often blow up at someone before actually thinking things through. I tend to make a fool of myself, because I overreact and look like an absolute idiot. I've Googled some anger management techniques and they seem to be working there, so I figured I'd use them in this situation.

Ok. What did he ACTUALLY say, as opposed to what I chose to hear? The words that came out of his mouth were 'Babe, you're going out for lunch and dinner on Sunday so you'll have two 'free' meals then. I'm working the weekend so I'm going to have my 'free' meal tonight. I've been looking forward to a parma from that pizza shop for a month!' We've decided that we're doing LnE 7 days a week, with the option of a 'free' meal here and there (never more than 2 in a week, but preferably 1 a week). It's my both my Dad's and my workmate's birthday on Sunday, so I'm having lunch with workmates and family dinner at Mum and Dad's on Sunday. I don't know where I'm going for lunch yet, and Mum isn't yet sure if she'll cook something or we'll go to the local Italian place. So there's the potential for big failure there as I can't really plan well...

The boy was right. I needed to have an LnE dinner tonight. I didn't need to have the parma and chips and garlic pizza, even if we were sharing it. His delivery turned up before the hour was up on the oven timer, and when the door closed and the garlicky goodness wafted through the house, I was ready to jump him. I turned on my puppy dog eyes and asked for a chip or a wedge of pizza. I was denied. The next ten minutes were the longest of my life, while I waited for the timer to go off.

It did. I ate my Steak with Creamy Mushroom Sauce - it had wedges and vegies and a delicious gravy. I savoured it. I enjoyed it. I'm almost (but not actually!) ashamed that I licked the tray clean. I thought once or twice about getting up and nicking some chips or pizza that I knew were uneaten in the kitchen. But I didn't. And now I'm sitting here 4 hours later, feeling very proud that I still have calories left for the day, and that I didn't cave. Mish said in a video that cravings come in waves, and sometimes you've just got to ride them out. I'm slowly learning that it's true - it's not just bullshit that she's spouting to get me to continue to pay her. These are important lessons that I need to learn, that I need to be reminded of, that I NEED to live life like a normal person.

I can't wait to be normal.

I'm almost out of my 20s!! ARGH!!

So I know I'm turning 30, and I've known it for a while. But the fact that I'm leaving my 20s only occurred to me this afternoon. All afternoon and evening, I've been thinking about it, reflecting, considering, dreaming. You know what I realised? It's a new fucking beginning. I went into my 20s an insecure, shy, immature little girl. My, how I've changed. I'll be heading into my 30s stronger, much more confident, slightly more mature. But most importantly, I think I'm actually happy.

I was never depressed, I was not suicidal. But I WAS unhappy. I remember my last day as a teenager vividly - I got my tongue pierced! I also remember ripping up a cheeseburger and shoving the mouthfuls right to the back of my mouth to swallow so I didn't have to chew or use my tongue. I don't know what I was trying to prove (perhaps a little bit of rebellion?), but I was determined to eat right from the outset, and not let the fact that I'd had a barbell driven through my tongue (trauma anyone?) deter me from my daily cheeseburger from good old McDonalds. The next few years were filled with me giving in to my every thought about food.

We all know where this led... Cut to 2010, I weighed in at a work 'Biggest Loser' competition at 135kg.

What's going to be different in my 30s? I'm not sure how I will spend my last day in my 20s, but I know I'll be eating LnE food, probably spend a bit of time at the gym (or walking the streets if the weather is nice!), and probably go to bed early. What a rager. Haha. I'm spending my actual birthday at Mum's place, cooking and preparing for my party the next day. I'll be celebrating with dinner. Then the party! I can't believe I'm holding Mum back from making lots of sweets, not because I don't want to be tempted, but because I believe that it's not necessary to have plates and plates of food for people to have a good time. Fuck me, I've changed!

I'll still be having a champers or 4. I'll be indulging in party food, having cake. But one thing will change. The 'party' won't continue for the next ten years. The fun police won't be out in force or anything ridiculous like that, but I will be living a NORMAL life, with NORMAL food and exercise. Exercise WILL be a part of my life, every day. And it won't be exercise to work off the chocolate binge from the night before.

My life is changing. I can't wait to be 30!!