Mayor of Struggletown

That's right, I'm the Mayor of Struggletown.

This morning is the perfect example, but if I'm honest, it's been happening for about 2 weeks. Last night, I had a friend's engagement party. I caught the bus there as I knew I'd be drinking, and I really drank. I didn't partake in any party food, which was pretty good, but I HAD eaten M&Ms for brunch, so I really shouldn't have eaten anyway. Had the obligartory cheeseburger on the way home (lovely taxi driver!!) and my night was complete.

I woke up this morning and I feel awful. So much sugar (Malibu and Coke is my drink) and quite dehydrated from the alcohol, so I have a headache and my mouth feels all fuzzy. My throat is sore from being around smokers all night, and from yelling with the loud music. My ears are still ringing. I'm too old for this!!

But getting back to Struggletown, I'm really struggling with sticking to the program. I haven't been to the gym at all this week. I babysat one night, had dinner with a friend, had dinner with another group, and then Friday night came and I just couldn't be bothered on Friday night. I did my fitness test on Thursday night which took me about 20 minutes. I had calisthenics on Monday night, where I usually burn around 900 calories. I haven't done any other exercise this week though, and I've gone over my calories every day.

I don't want to quit before I'm finished, but I need to get my head around the fact that this behaviour isn't right. It won't give me the results I need and want, and I will actually go backwards if I continue like this. I need to stick to my calories, and make a real effort to go to the gym and burn my 500 every day. No excuses.

It's all well and good for me to say that I want it, but I need to start proving to myself that I want it. I need to do a big cookup (tonight's job) and make the effort to fuel my body with what it needs. I then need to burn that fuel in fun ways - after all, the whole point is to use my body in ways that make it sing. I think I might even whack on my HRM while I'm practising calisthenics at home - I get so excited that my heart rate goes up and I just feel amazing while I'm doing it.

I want to enhance my performance this year - make it less about doing what I've been taught, and more about actually 'performing'. I've realised in the last few years that I genuinely love calisthenics, and I really need to start showing the world (or the 3 people that watch it at least...lol) how much I really love it. There's a little fire in my heart when I'm on stage, and even when I'm practising. I need that fire to shine through so that I truly glow. I need to open myself up and let people see that fire - even if I risk getting some criticism.. or even worse.. some praise!!