3 days! I've had 3 days of no junk! It's almost a miracle!
3 days of good food, and good exercise, and I am feeling good. A little hungry, but good. I'd forgotten that people are meant to feel hungry. That hunger is the sign of needing to eat, the sign that a meal is due. That we should probably feel a bit hungry a few times a day - not ravenous, but hungry. I read something the other day about rapid weight loss, and the doctor they were interviewing said that it was okay for morbidly obese people to feel a little bit hungry. Now, I'm no longer morbidly obese, but I am still obese, and lately I haven't been feeling hungry at all. I need to learn to recognise the difference between hunger and boredom. I tend to eat because I need a distraction or something to do. I get bored at work and think about all the things I could eat, and then I get fixated on them.
I had a pretty powerful moment last night, before heading out to the gym. I decided I needed to be honest with Dave. For the last 3 weeks or so, I've been finishing work early, heading off to Coles and Baker's Delight, and having a little feast in the car before picking him up. Chocolate, bread, lollies, chips, cake, whatever took my fancy on the day. Sometimes it's a lot of food, sometimes just one chocolate bar. But the important thing is, IT WAS SECRET. After putting on 2 kilos in the last 3 weeks, I CAN'T deny it anymore.
So I told Dave what I have been doing. He, as usual, was amazing. He encouraged me to talk to him when I feel like I need to do this. He didn't tell me off, but he did tell me that I was being silly in self sabotaging. And then we agreed on what we need to do moving forward. I have committed to sticking to LnE FULLY for July. This includes one treat meal a week, which is helpful as I will have something to look forward to on a Friday night. I have also committed to at least 3 gym sessions a week. At this point, I don't care WHAT I do at the gym, just that I go. I still want to run, and I will! Possibly not on the schedule that I would like (3x a week), but I WILL run.
I'm breaking out of the funk, one day at a time. I'm flexing the willpower muscle on more occasions each day than I would like, but saying no mostly feels good. I just think about what I've felt like for the past 3 weeks, the nausea, the stomach aches, the terrible toilet experiences - and how I don't want to feel like that any more. How I feel when I eat well and exercise well, is how I want to feel all the time.
I don't want to be a fat bride in December. I don't want to be someone who loses sh*tloads of weight for their wedding, only to put it all back on, but I do want to have a significant change between now and then. It's possible, and it will be hard, but the payoffs will definitely outweigh the costs. A fantastic wedding day, fun-filled honeymoon, and then a healthy body to carry babies and be an awesome mum. I need to think about these things when I feel like giving in to a craving, and decide whether the 3 seconds of pleasure will be worth putting off my dreams for a few days. 6 months is gonna FLY....
No comments:
Post a Comment