This is the first Easter I have not gone to Mass, and I missed it... My faith is not what it used to be - I don't usually need to attend Mass to feel like I'm being with God. Lately, the happiness I have been feeling with the way my life is headed is enough for me to know that I'm on the right track, that I'm doing the right thing, that I'm being true to myself and to my faith. I don't need to be sitting inside a church or professing my faith publicly to know that my God is here, in my heart.
Those who know me know that I'm not a deeply religious person, but I am deeply spiritual. I have my own way of going about my faith, and I don't push it on others. I would prefer others not to push it on me, but I understand that some branches of faith wish you to proclaim your love for God or Christ out loud, to show everyone how much you believe. That's not my cup of tea, but each to his own.
Anyway, where I was going with all this, was that today, I missed the pomp and circumstance of a Roman Catholic Easter Mass. I missed sitting in the dark, listening to the Exsultant, getting goosebumps. I missed the sense of community that I had with the little church congregation that I shared this ritual with for the last 15 years. This year, the parish decided that they didn't need a Morning Vigil, and only held the Easter Saturday night mass. And that is just one of the reasons the church pisses me off, and material for another blog post.
I did, however, complete the tradition of spending Easter Lunch at my Gran's, sharing food and great conversation with my very large family. I thoroughly enjoyed the day, even if I did miss my usual pre-dawn rising and sharing with the congregation. Life has to change, and we must change with it. There are new traditions - waking up with the boy, having a quiet chat about faith and love, watching kids smother themselves in chocolate and playing without a care in the world - and old traditions. We carry forward the ones we can, and remember the ones we cannot. Family, food, and fun will always be the centre of tradition - that is one thing that can not and will not EVER change.
And chocolate for breakfast will ALWAYS be acceptable on Easter and Christmas morning!
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