Today has been a mixed bag for me. I weighed in at 109.7kg, which made me OVER THE MOON EXCITED. I have not weighed under 110kg since September 2012 (7 months), so I was very excited to see that number.
This week I have been so conscious of my eating - sticking to LnE meals 6 days out of the 7 and not going too crazy on Saturday. I haven't been to the gym AT ALL, which proves to me that this really is 80% food. 2.4kg gone in a week is ridiculous without exercise, yet I have done it. Chugging water has to have helped.
So what did I do today? Well, let me just tell you, I feel gross. I feel sluggish, and very full. I had planned today's lunch to be out - I bargained with myself 1 lunch a month (on payday!) and that was today. I had a chicken and rice dish from the cafe, which was probably 1.5x the size of a LnE lunch. I shouldn't have eaten it all, but I did. Then, as a treat, I also had a piece of caramel slice. I savoured it all afternoon at my desk, and felt a little sick, probably because of all of the sugar which I haven't eaten in a week or so.
Then, to top it all off, I snuck into the milk bar after work (before picking up Dave) and bought a chocolate muffin. And I ate it. Gosh, I feel so sick. I don't even know why I did it. Well, I kind of do. See, today felt like a 'free day', and I took that and ran with it. It seems I cannot be trusted. I knew walking in to that milk bar what I would buy. I knew opening the packet that I wasn't hungry. I knew while eating it that it was making me feel sick. But I insisted on eating the whole 700 calories worth. After having eaten a much bigger lunch than usual, and having a sickly sweet slice during the afternoon.
And then I ate dinner. Because you have to eat dinner. WTF?
Time to re-group. Looking at my calendar for the next few weeks, I've got a couple of 'special' days coming up. I've marked the meals that I won't be following LnE on (my birthday party, Dad's birthday dinner) and there will be no straying from that. I also have the next four days off work so will be spending some quality time in the gym working off the extra 1000 calories (maybe more!) that I ate today. I will be blocking out time to strength train for May in the morning, going through my calendar and scheduling non-negotiable time in. I'll also be looking at my goals from the 12WBT and seeing where I am with those and setting new ones.
My cousin suggested the Colour Run towards the end of the year, so running 5km comfortably will be one of my goals, but I really need to set some strength and fitness goals not related to weight loss. I need the focus away from the number on the scale, and geared towards achievements that can be celebrated. Weight loss will come from good nutrition and sticking to the plan.
Today is a milestone for me, because I KNOW that I will not do it again tomorrow. My food is already organised for tomorrow and Friday, and the order has already been placed for LnE for next week. It will be delivered Friday. I have organised a dinner with a friend next week, but we've already decided that I'm bringing my LnE and she'll get a Weight Watchers frozen meal and we'll eat at her place.
I've got two episodes of The Biggest Loser waiting for me to watch in the morning, and that will re-energise me for the long weekend.
I will resist the urge to weigh in tomorrow to see the damage, and will hold off until next Wednesday (my normal weigh in day) to see what has happened. I now have six days to get sorted again!
Seriously so stoked about today's weigh in, but disappointed in myself for ignoring logic and giving in to my inner teenager. Hopefully I'll learn a lesson from today - I know my tummy isn't happy right now!!
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