The first 'real' day

Today was the first 'real' day where I followed the program to the letter. Or at least, I tried to. Yesterday was awesome for the most part, but we did have pizza for dinner, so I didn't stick to the 'low-no carbs for dinner' guideline. Today, however, I stuck to everything.

After my 7am shake, I was going well. 8am arrived, and my heart sank as a coworker arrived with a caramel mudcake from the Cheesecake Shop. My absolute FAVOURITE cake in the world. The hunger kicked in around 10:30am, after I ignored the cravings for cake all morning. I patiently waited for 11am to arrive and made my second shake. Still no cake.

Lunch break. 12:30pm. My colleague and I went out on break, and it was a little awkward watching her eat her muffins and cheese, but I stuck with it. Back to my desk, and some kind soul had placed a slice of cake on it. Are you joking?? I didn't eat it. I gave it to another coworker. It was bloody hard, but I did it. Only another hour until my next shake. True hunger set in - headache, stomach pains, cravings. I'm not sure that I've ever FELT hunger before - I've always given in to cravings right away. It was satisfying to say no and not give in. I also have the 500 or so Freddos sitting on display on my desk, and I said no to those as well.

2pm. Shake time. I was fine then until about 5pm. I'd finished work at 4, gone to Coles to pick up the vegies for dinner tonight. I didn't buy chocolate, chips, lollies, icecream, or bread. Or cake. Like I wanted to, or usually would have. Waiting for Dave to come out of work was hard. It had been 3 hours since my last shake and I was beginning to feel the hunger again. Water didn't help (I've drunk 3 litres today!), and I was having thoughts of giving up. Driving home, traffic was crap, and the last thing I wanted to do was go to the gym.

We got home, changed, and I got back in the car. I have my snack bars in the boot ready for next week and I have to admit I had one of those on the way to the shops. There was no way I was going into a shopping centre containing all sorts of deliciousness on a rumbly tummy. I had a list of things I needed to get at the supermarket (because I hadn't thought about things like shampoo and toilet paper in my single-minded 'vegies' shop an hour before), and I ended up just getting those things and coming back home. I WILL NOT force myself to go to the gym when my body is tired and my head isn't in it. I don't want to resent going, or make it a place that is not positive for me. So I didn't go - I walked a couple of laps of the supermarket, and came home to cook dinner. I made a stir-fry with heaps of veg for 650 calories (no rice or noodles, but bean sprouts!) and ate my mountain of food.

Sitting here 3 hours later, I'm a little peckish. Not starving, not hungry even, but just a little peckish. Let's see how tomorrow goes.