Weekend Wrap Up

I woke up on Saturday with no improvement to the arm situation. Sad face. The show must go on, however, so I sucked it up and got on with my day. We started off with a breakfast at Lazy Moe's. For anyone who doesn't know, pretty much the aim of this restaurant is to serve giant, delicious meals at a reasonable price. They do it very well. I chose the French Toast with bacon and maple syrup, and as we ate at about 9:30 decided it would be lunch as well.

I headed off to Mum's after getting ready for the comp, for her to do my hair and have a last minute costume check. We went to the comp, did FUCKING AWESOMELY, and then it was all over. As I knew, once I got on stage and the adrenalin was pumping, I didn't notice the pain from my stupidity. After each item, though, getting changed for the next one, it hurt again. Weird. We came runner's up (2nd) overall, so it was a very successful outing. It came right down to the last item, and we won it (our coaches have done a brilliant job with a brilliant concept that blows the audience - and the judge - away EVERY TIME). It's such a thrill and I'm really going to miss it once it's over for the year.

This year is my last year of competing at Cali. Most don't last into their 30s, especially at this level, and I think I've done bloody well to get where I have. The truth, though, is that it's time to start a family. I might come back to it in a few years, but it will be to 'Masters' where the competition isn't quite as tough and the commitment is nowhere near as high. I'm so so sad to be finishing but I've had a great 25 years, full of highs and lows, fun and tears. It's time to start the next chapter of my life.

Anyway, back to the weekend. I finished off the night with the usual celebration at Macca's. I've been trying to listen to my hunger cues and not eat 'just because'. During the night Mum had offered me a choc chip cookie and a Kit Kat, both of which I refused because I didn't actually feel like them. I did have a pizza roll about halfway through the comp, and only ate that because although I wasn't hungry, I started to feel a bit dizzy coming off stage. At Maccas, we usually get a full meal each (at 11pm... crazy!!) but I told Mum to choose between the burger and the fries and we would split a meal. Good choice. I had the burger, she had the fries, and I got through the day almost even on calories.

This morning was daylight savings changeover, so we lost an hour. A little sleep-in, and we headed off to the Queen Vic Market for a browse. An hour or so of wandering around and we came home for lunch, having managed to avoid all the deliciousness that IS the market. We didn't buy anything else, just wandered around. It was a lovely morning, beautiful sunshine, not too hot, not too cold.

I had a quick lunch, after realising we hadn't eaten breaky either. LnE all the way, then I headed off to the gym. I did some intervals on the treadmill for 30 mins and then decided to back up the strength training the other day and keep it going. Another half hour of upper-body work and I was about to leave when I noticed this big guy that has been at the gym in the last week or so. When I say big, I mean BIG. Bigger than anyone I've EVER seen. He struggles to fit between the side rails of the treadmill. Yet he's there. EVERY TIME I have been there this week.

I watched this guy today, not creepily (I hope), but in awe of what he was doing. He's trying. He's sweating. He's there. I used to be that girl. The girl who could only walk on the treadmill because she couldn't do anything else. The girl that turned up every day and just did it because she wanted something more. I realised I still am that girl. The girl who needs to turn up every day and do what needs to be done.

I ordered Celebrity Slim last week. Yes, I know. It's not real food. It's a meal replacement shake, designed to sort-of fill you up while you're pretending you're not hungry. I'm going to do it for 3 weeks - the first is the 'Rapid' phase, where you drink 3 shakes a day and have a 'normal' dinner (in my case it'll be LnE). The next phase is the 'Trim' phase where you have 2 shakes and two snacks a day, then a 'normal' dinner. I'll do that stage for two weeks. At the end of the 3 weeks I'll assess and see if my hunger/irritability is worth the weight loss. I'm banking on it not being, but I'm hoping that the weight loss will be enough to kick start my motivation again. It should all arrive in the next day or so, so I'll begin as soon as it does.

I've got this.