138 days to go!

So, I've just discovered it's 138 days until I turn 30. I downloaded an app (T-0) on my iPhone that is a countdown.

What should I do in these 138 days?

I'll tell you what I'm going to do. I'm not going to set any crazy goals. I'm not going to aim for a target I know I won't reach. I'm going to take each day in my stride and just BE.

I know I want to be thinner. I know I want to be fitter. I know I want to be healthier.

In just under 20 weeks, a lot is possible - both positively and negatively. I could lose 20kg. I could stay the same. I could be smaller, physically. I could stay the same. I could be stronger. I could stay the same.

My pledge to myself for the next 138 days is to be organised. To set aside the time each Sunday to work out food and exercise for the week. To set aside the time each night to reflect on the day. To set aside time each day (morning or night, or BOTH!) to exercise. Not to exercise like a maniac, but to go for a walk. Or to ride my bike. Or to run. Or to go to the gym.

I also pledge to myself to not get caught up and overwhelmed by the plan. To not overthink things. To not sabotage myself by thinking 'it's all too hard/too much/not worth it' and to just do it.

I know that I've made goals/statements in the past and I haven't stuck to them. It's my nature. I go gung-ho for a few weeks and then it all goes to shit. 2012 was meant to be MY year. I was going to be sitting here telling you all that I'm no longer obese, no longer overweight, even. I was going to be sitting here telling you all how much I love my new life, how it's so easy once you get there, that it is worth the pain and frustration and EFFORT to get to where you want to be.

Well, this is what I'm telling you today. I do love my life. I love everything about my life - how easy it is, how hard it is, how fun it is, and how utterly boring it is. Life is ups and downs. I'm never going to get to the place where I am perfectly happy with how I look and who I am and where my life is. I know this now.

And next year, let me tell you, I am going to make the effort to be in a better position than I am now. With my weight, with my finances and with my fitness.

Looking back at my chart for my weigh-ins, on January 1, 2012 I weighed 113.8kg. I don't know what I'll weigh on January 1, 2013, but it will be less than that! Not by much... but less. And on January 1, 2014, it will be even less. Well, maybe more, but that will be because of the person growing inside me (hopefully by then!). And as long as each year, on January 1, I do not weigh more than I did the year before, I will know I am heading in the right direction.