Well, work drinks happened last night. So did the KFC meal beforehand to 'line the stomach'. I ended the day 1100 calories over my limit for the day, with no exercise. The Malibu and Coke was very nice, although looking back I should've asked for Diet Coke and would have saved a lot of calories. We live and learn.
Boy, did I learn tonight.... 2 hours on the treadmill was all it took to undo last nights' 5 hours of eating, drinking, and being merry. I had a really great night, but looking back over it there are things I won't do next time - such as getting regular Coke in my drink, and eating KFC. Originally we were going to have Nando's for dinner which would have worked out better - they have a 'kids' burger for just on 300 calories which I would have eaten, but instead one of the girls got a craving for Wicked Wings so we went to KFC instead. Then I couldn't decide what to have so I got the 'Allstars Box', which basically has one of everything. Strips, wings, popcorn chicken, a piece of chicken, a roll, and potato and gravy. I didn't eat the potato and gravy (haha my mum spoiled me with the best potato and gravy growing up and the KFC one tastes like vomit to me) or many of the chips, so that was an upside I suppose. Then when we got to the pub, drinks were on a tab (awesome bosses...seriously) and platters of chips, nachos, wedges etc were strewn everywhere. I resisted the temptation to nibble as I knew once I started I wouldn't stop. Another tick on the angel side.
My work-mates decided at about 9 that they were going to head out to a club, so I called the BF and asked him to pick me up - if past work 'functions' are anything to go by, I would have ended up in Crown's food court going nuts over curries and icecream at 4 in the morning. I went home like a good girl, and went to bed. This morning we woke up, and the BF had to be at work at 7 so he dropped me at my car and headed off. Id left my car at work the night before, and there was heaps of work to be done, so I hung around until about 1230 doing some stuff. It's amazing how much I get done when there's no distractions - just chucked my iPod headphones in and flew through the work. I also had an epiphany...
I've been unhappy in my job for quite some time... probably two years if I'm being honest. I'm a team leader, and management isn't really my thing. I got the position 3 years ago when our team was expanding and getting out of hand (the team doubled in a year as business in the Optical Industry is booming) and went from a Data Entry person to a team leader. At the time, I questioned my ability to performance manage people - I hate confrontation, and therefore avoid it, which makes performance management quite difficult. Over the last 3 years, my managers tell me that I have been getting better, and that I am quite fair with my team, but I just don't feel it. I struggle with managing people, and have decided it's time to move on. I told my line manager before Xmas that I was planning on leaving, that it would be a case of applying for other things and as soon as something comes up, I'll be giving my four weeks notice. He's not happy about it (he is new to the industry so leans on me for a lot of product knowledge, but we are also quite close and are 'venting' buddies), but he understands my reasons and has agreed to give me a reference.
The thing is... no-one is giving me a chance! I have literally applied for hundreds of jobs, and the only two that I have been interviewed for have seriously questioned my reasons for leaving management, and ultimately decided that I was overqualified for the positions that I am applying for. I'm getting so disheartened, it's quite demoralising. Anyhoo, last night, one of the guys and I were having a chat about it. He's from another department and I jokingly asked if he needed an assistant as I hate my job and want to leave. We got into a serious chat about what I want to do (I actually don't know, which makes everything so much harder) and he said something that hit me smack in the face. 'Kells, all you have to do is write down the things you love about your job, and the things you hate about your job. Once you've done that, look for something that matches the love column.' So friggin simple.
Today, while I was sitting there processing orders, I was going over the events of last night in my head, and this conversation came back to me. I got out my notepad, separated it into two columns, and started listing stuff. Here is my epiphany. I hate managing people. I love doing all the shitty stuff that no-one else wants to do because it's boring and repetitive. Admin stuff. Tying up loose ends. Reports for other departments/managers/directors. So why can't I continue to do all that stuff and just give up the management side of things? O.M.G I am a genius. We currently have two temps, and one of them is going back home to India in April. My thoughts - create a new role for me, replace me with someone from my team, and voila, life's good. I don't have to resign. My manager doesn't have to find a new buddy. Someone gets promoted from within. And we also save cash because we won't be paying a temp casual wages. Now I just have to gather up some stuff and try to work out a way to propose it to my manager.
If that works out, I'll be a very happy girl. I'm in love, I'm getting my health back, I'm enjoying food, I'm enjoying exercise.... the job thing is the last thing left on the list. Once I get that sorted, I'll be content. And no more bloody work drinks. Or go, and stick to the Diet Coke (no Malibu...sad face..) and skip the KFC beforehand. I DO NOT want to be slogging it out for two hours on a friggin treadmill to get rid of those calories. If I'm doing two hour workouts, I want them to be getting rid of stored fat, not whimsical nights of KFC and alcohol. Whimsy is fun once in a while though...
OK wow. That was longer than anticipated... I was only meant to write about the cancelling out of the KFC/Malibu fest. Thanks for reading if you got to the end.
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