.. This girl was sh*tting herself, wanting the number to be grouse!
This is the first time since I got my scales almost a year ago that I haven't weighed myself every day. In fact, the last time I weighed was on Wednesday last week. I normally weigh every morning, just after my morning wee. Lately, I've been getting frustrated as the weight goes up and down so much, and I just can't handle it. If the number is good, I feel like I can do anything, and that a little *insert indulgence food, usually chocolate* won't hurt. If the number is bad, I feel defeated. I need to stop letting the number determine my mood, and start listening to my body.
I was reading 'Crunch Time' last night. It's a Michelle Bridges book, and in it she mentioned something about recognising your body's signals of hunger. Often, we think we're hungry when we're actually thirsty, or when we're bored, or in situations where we usually eat. I need to listen to my body more, and have a glass of water when I think I'm hungry and then wait a bit to see if the feeling passes. Today I bought carrot sticks, celery sticks and a tiny tub of hommus to work. I have NEVER considered this to be a 'snack', but rather a form of punishment.
At about 1030, I felt a bit peckish (I had my breaky at around 8am when I got to work) so I went and got my stuff from the fridge. I tentatively picked up a carrot stick, dipped it in the hommus, and crunched on it. I was surprised!! It wasn't bad... it was kind of sweet, very crunchy, and the dip was slightly nutty and a bit grainy. I don't know how to describe it really, but I finished off the stick and grabbed some celery. Once again, I dipped it in the hommus, and took a bite. My first thought was 'wow, this tastes like celery', and then I realised what an idiot I am. Of course it tastes like celery, you doofus, it IS celery.
As I was marvelling at the taste of these foods, Little Miss Baker arrived with morning tea for everyone. Caramel Mud Cake with a Chocolate Ganache Frosting. Normally, I'd be the first to put my hand up for a slice, and even run around handing the cake out to everyone (making sure I reserved a big piece for myself of course) before settling down to devour my own slice. I didn't even offer to help Little Miss Baker. I thought about whether I was hungry or not, decided that I wasn't, and said no. It was that simple.
I know I'm not going to be able to say no every time. I struggled when the box of chocolates went around at 3pm - the smell was wafting out of the box and my mouth watered just seeing that Cadbury Purple. But I did say no once more. Not every day is like this at my workplace, but every day presents temptation to me. I just need to learn to say no more often, and only indulge at times when I really, truly want something, instead of going for everything and regretting it later.
I felt a great sense of relief knowing that I wouldn't have to justify the calorie intake to myself, or add it on to the 500 calories I had to burn today. I also didn't feel ill like I usually do after too much sugar. I didn't want to have a powernap before I started the hour long drive home after work, because I'd eaten until I was full today, and not overstuffed. It's amazing what we put our bodies through when we eat crap - I used to feel tired and lethargic every day, especially after a cafe lunch, where the serving size was much more that I needed, but I felt compelled to eat the entire plate. I am slowly learning. I'm sure I won't be this strong every time I'm tempted, but today was a good day.
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